Human Memory Download

Some time in the near future, scientists will be able to take reminiscences from a human brain and store them digitally, for others to experience. This is likely to be a long and painful process for the memory supplier, yet it may have logical benefits for that person.

Sufferers of Alzheimer's disease could have their brain reseeded, or the patient which has undergone trauma resulting in loss of memory could be given a jolt from their past. Dementia is the loss of cognitive functioning—thinking, remembering, and reasoning—to such an extent that it interferes with a person’s daily life and activities: yet these persons too could be helped by taking part in human memory download in advance of the onset of such an illness.

This piece reflects an important medical development: it is also a long and painful process.

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Global Voting

(Van Credenza continues to look into the future)

A small unit recognising your palm print, located within your home....placed there by operatives from the world government. You can freely vote on every important issue which arises by pressing the correct button, as it happens! Remember to press the correct button.

This is the sound it makes.................................

votevotevotevotevotevotevotevotevotevotevotevote

Prison Countries

Prison Countries

In the first of a new series of extrapolative technological work, Van Credenza looks to the future and predicts scientific changes which may or may not benefit the world’s population.

Mesopotamia

Bactria

Nyasaland

Grain Coast

Dahomey

Prussia

Bourbon Island

Silesia

Abyssinia

Upper Volta

Transylvania

Galilee

Zanzibar

Soviet Union

Formosa

Moluccas

Siam

Katanga

Friendly Islands

New Spain

Bohemia

All of the above were at one time 'Prison Countries'. They changed names to avoid the stigma and shame such a legacy would convey. But, what if, in the future........?

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Rebel Rebel

Davy Jones tells us why he wrote 'Rebel Rebel':

"Bryce Willis, father of one of our friends and associates, was a documentarian to the Royal Family over 50 years ago. Peculiarly, and despite his name, he was also an Austro-Hungarian, who harboured a grudge against royalty due to his own family being slighted as a commoner group. Willis was part of the Chotek family, and Sophie Chotek, although married to Franz Ferdinand, was not allowed to share her husband's rank, title, or privileges; as such, she would not normally appear in public beside him. She was supposedly not allowed to ride in the royal carriage or sit in the royal box.

No names, no pack drill.

Willis always had an interest in cinematography, and eventually made his career in documentary film making. His speciality was as a royal watcher.....but there was a more sinister background to this rebellious character. He believed, much in the same way that pylons and mobile telephones are perceived by some to be detrimental to health, that monochromatic film rays pointing towards his subjects over prolonged periods brought about bouts of madness. Experimenting with various filters, Willis attempted to intensify the effects of the emissions. What he was attempting was as close to treason as cinematically possible, yet no-one suspected Bryce Willis.

This is a story that can never be told.

Willis, now an octogenarian, lives in self imposed exile in Belgium, where he can often be seen in Liege parks feeding the ducks, to stray cats."

When Animals Die

The Goat-God Pan became equated with the devil in medieval Christianity. But to medieval occultists especially Rosicrucians the goat symbolized the elemental energies of the earth, the sign of Saturn and the alchemical element derived therefrom.

When our percussionist Hot Stix suffered the passing of his pet goat recently, it had a profound effect on all members of Van Credenza, perhaps even more than the mutilation and murder of ex-bandmate Hilton Coldstream. Difficult times for Stix, who, although he co-composed this number, was too upset to take part in the recording process.

This is our tribute to Pan the Goat, and all the other animals which have unexpectedly left this earth with little warning to their loving owners.

goataogoataogoataogoataogoataogoataogoat

Back to Nature

Under the geodesic dome
Infrared heater, just like home

Glucose filled, and programmed to respond

One of Frank Tovey's first musical instruments was a Grundig reel to reel tape recorder, and although he couldn't master any instrument at a competent level, Mute Records signed him up as their first recording artist in 1979.

Back to Nature was his first single, as Fad Gadget.

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Nana's Intercostal Chorus

Nana’s Intercostal Chorus is a composition now featuring the triode trumpet, an invention of our newest member Charlotte Dundas. Of course, it is an electronic instrument based on transmitters, receivers and vacuum tubes, but it appears aurally to retain acoustic qualities.

This version is simply instrumental. Van Credenza used to play this as a vocal song in concert, but, sadly, it appears the singer of this tune is no longer with us. He also wrote the words, thus it is now a mystery what the song and title is all about.

But the band have decided to keep this number alive, unlike poor Hilton Coldstream, as it was one of his favourite pieces. Incidentally, another, undetermined ‘piece’ of our departed friend appears to have arrived yesterday.

Regard this as another tribute to Mr Coldstream. The accompanying video would have found favour with Hilton.

Keep Feeling Fascination

This cover version of the Human League number features new electronic trumpet player Charlotte Dundas, who replaces Hilton Coldstream in the Van Credenza band line up. Charlotte, who is openly intersexual, was training to be an Olympic runner, but clashes with the authorities led to a change of career direction.

“Keep Feeling Fascination” was chosen as the first song to be released with Charlotte in the band, in recognition of the medical profession’s fascination with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH). As a group, we will say little more on the subject, unless it suits us.

Last week, Hilton’s left foot was delivered to our management offices.



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Tainted Love: tribute to Hilton Coldstream

Tribute to our perhaps departed sax/2nd bass player, Hilton Coldstream.

Hilton Coldstream

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Why the silence lately?


Some Asian fans will know about the sax/2nd bass player from Van Credenza’s disappearance and suspected death in the Far East. Early in June, while making a documentary about his childhood hero Paul Gadd, Hilton Coldstream was abducted at knifepoint close to the Laos/Vietnam border: later that week the rest of the band were individually sent fingers from what we believe to be Hilton’s left hand, and asked by note for a ransom set at 5million Vietnamese Dong.


Clearly this was a shock to us all, as it is unlikely we would be able to find another band member as versatile as Hilton Coldstream: at least not as quickly as we might like to keep up the prodigious output of songs. However, we clung to the hope that the fingers belonged to some other random victim. Further, the band has a policy not to pay any form of ransom over the figure of $50000 in such an event.


Gradually, over the next few days, further body parts were delivered to us. First a few toes, then a knee, a couple of ears and a tongue. Having no way of knowing whether these bits and pieces were actually from Hilton Coldstream, we stood fast in refusing to pay any liberation fee.
Last week, the left hand side of Hilton’s tattooed skull was sent to our management offices. Gradually the realisation came that we have perhaps lost a talented musician, and that 5million Vietnamese Dong is not much more than $300.


Coming soon: our tribute to Hilton Coldstream.


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