Blind Strippers

Blind Strippers call 101 toll free

Blind Strippers they will speak to me

Blind Strippers don’t know what they do

Blind Strippers there for me and you

Blind Strippers they’ll speak on your phone

Blind Strippers when you’re on your own

Blind Strippers here’s a little tip

Blind Strippers you can’t see them strip

Blind Strippers are they really blind?

Blind Strippers always seem so kind

Blind Strippers they like to unwind

Blind Strippers Venetian blind

Blind Strippers realigned

Blind Strippers undefined

Blind Strippers disinclined

Blind Strippers peace of mind

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Imagination

The original “Imagination” by Belouis Some caused a storm due to the accompanying video: for this tribute, Van Credenza again turn to Sooty and some of his friends for a contemporary interpretation.

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Our most recent work has been subject of the following review from T.J. Priseman in "The Giving Art".................................................

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The neu-minimalist reading of Van Credenza, vassal to the Humbolt legacy, questions their own raison d'etre. Are they ultra visible figures of speech? Are they insecure (self-contemptuous/self-repugnant) egocentrics? Or are they simply (and solely) conjectural snapshots without a vocabulary of their own? Van Credenza can best be examined as artistic interventions against the domineering absurdity epitome, whereas the unappealingly desperate musings of Sooty are truly indebted to the fatalistic oeuvre. As Baudrillard and Guillaume (1) so concisely and pithily state, “What is produced with the romantic turn…is…the…play of…masculine hysteria…of …sexual paradigms that once again must be reinserted in the more general and universal context of a change in the paradigms of otherness.”

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(1) Jean Baudrillard and Marc Guillaume, Figures de l'alterite. Paris: Descartes et Cie., 1994.

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A Little Repect

A Little Respect

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This cover song, written in 1987 by the Erasure due of Andy Bell and Vince Clarke contains no lyrics as a tribute to guest dancer Sooty, who aptly performs the video for the Van Credenza version. Sooty, now in his sixties, has never uttered a single word during his life which began just after the end of World War Two. Closest relatives the Corbetts (Harry and Matthew) finally gave up on Sooty over a decade ago, allowing Richard Cadell to take control, literally as Sooty's right hand man.
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Mute for his entire life, Sooty nevertheless remains a huge fan of electro-pop, and fittingly presents his interpretation here of a song recorded on the Mute label, home of many influential experimental synthesiser based bands, such as The Normal, Depeche Mode, Fad Gadget, Silicon Teens and, of course, Erasure.

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Boneshaker

A tune devised during a 4 day advocaat fused binge session at the start of 2011, Boneshaker was performed by a slimmed down version of Van Credenza, Charlotte Dundas having now left the band by mutual consent (of the remaining members).

Hot Stix received several steampunk novels for his Christmas, which were a major influence on his percussive contribution, also leading to the chosen title, ‘Boneshaker’. Stix’ boneshaker is large, coal powered transportation vehicle.

As for the remaining instrumentation, band members swapped implements superficially in experimentation: reality is the advocaat induced haze had more effect on these exchanges than might be admitted.

Originally, advocaat was made from avocados.

The Colour Taupe

Coming soon: Boneshaker, a number produced after a particularly heavy 4 day Advocaat binge at our recording studios to celebrate 2011. But for now...........

Charlotte Dundas, inventor of the triode trumpet, has been with Van Credenza since the disappearance of ex member Hilton Coldstream in a bizarre kidnapping scenario somewhere in Asia. Part of the deal for Dundas joining the band was that he/she could make a contribution to our musical roster once every 6 months, and here we have it: The Colour Taupe. As a collective, Van Credenza is unsure what the influences to the tune are, and we are unlikely ever to find out. This sort of number would have been the last of 3 on the B-side of an EP, many years ago. A space filler.

Incidentally, as our curiosity has now been sated, the management of the band have sacked Dundas.

Besuch in Berlin

The band has been visiting Berlin for a few weeks.

Van Credenza ist in Berlin, dieser Song repräsentiert ihren Besuch. Aktuelle Neben der Band Biscuit Ansprüche mehrsprachig sein, und er hat den deutschen Texten auf diese Nummer trug, unter Vertrauen aus dem Rest der Band, die geschickter an Disziplinen außer Sprachen sind. Alle waren mit der deutschen Hauptstadt, die einen Einfluss auf den Song und Video hier war beeindruckt, die rasende Stimmung in einigen Vierteln der Gegenüberstellung der ruhigen Charakter von anderen. Bei einem Besuch, versuchte verschiedene Mitglieder in die Häuser der Hertha, Union, BFC und Tennis, Großstadt Fußballvereine zu besuchen. Eine fantastische Besuch in den Bau dieses Lied gipfelte, 'Besuch in Berlin ", und die dazugehörige Film.

(English translation below film)



Van Credenza has been in Berlin, this song representing their visit. Recent addition to the band Biscuit claims to be multilingual, and he has contributed the German lyrics to this number, under trust from the rest of the band who are more adroit at disciplines other than languages. All were impressed with the German capital city, which was an influence on the song and video here, the frenzied atmosphere in some quarters contrasting the calm character of others. While visiting, various members attempted to visit the homes of Hertha, Union, BFC and Tennis, major city soccer clubs. A fantastic visit culminated in the construction of this song, ‘Besuch in Berlin’, and the accompanying film.

Latin:

Van Credenza fuerit in Berlin, repraesentans istud salutandi. Recent praeter manum Biscuit multilingual operto et Germaniae contulit ad hunc numerum lyrics sub fide ab aliis cohortis qui sunt in disciplinis solerti alia lingua. All impressus cum Germanis urbs, quae valent ad carminis video hic aer furenti opponens aliis partibus character tranquillo aliorum. Uisitantem, conatus membris visitare domos Hertha vnionem et BFC Tennis major soccer fustibus civitate. Visita culminavere mirabilem constructionem in canticum, Besuch in Berlin 'et sequentibus film.

Other languages on request.

Hanham 56

Hanham 56

This heavy number features our new vocalist (he insists he is not a singer) Biscuit. There are lyrics, but see if you can work them out for yourself: then you might understand where all that cash is coming from.

Gloucester, 1956: pennies and halfpennies fell down on children in Hanham as they were returning home from school. Money appearing seemingly out of nowhere...................... there have been many instances of these phenomena recorded throughout the world, from Meshchera in Russia in 1940, through Limburg (Germany), 1970, and recently in Camelon (November 2010).

Credit here in the film to the influence of James McDonald, the artist who witnessed the Camelon occurrences.

http://jamesmcdonald-art.blogspot.com/

http://nakedeyefineart.blogspot.com/

56£$£$£$£$£$56£$£$£$£$£$56

Free Time

Free Time: in stereophonic sound and 3D!

Free Time is an aspect of life that most people enjoy: and so do Van Credenza!

Here is our latest offering, which utilises a new instrument invented by us in our free time, the guitar saxophone. This pioneering number, in stereophonic sound, also offers a fantastic 3D experience to the viewer: simply place your favoured hand upright on the edge of your nose, and allow each eye to focus on one half of the screen.

Give it time: the 3D effect requires the brain to realise what the eyes are familiarising themselves to.

How are you spending your Free Time?

3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D

Time Machine

This happened 115 years ago.

After a Time Traveller escaped from the Morlocks, he finds himself in the distant future of an unrecognisable Earth, populated with furry, hopping herbivores. He stuns or kills one with a rock, and upon closer examination realises they are probably the descendants of cross breed humans/Eloi/Morlocks. The Morlocks originally fed on the Eloi, but also mated with them, as did, latterly, the humans. A gigantic, centipede-like arthropod approaches and the Traveller flees into the next day, finding that the creature has apparently eaten the tiny humanoid.

And this happened 115 years ago.........................................

HGW HGW 1895 HGW HGW

Bacterial Circuit Machine

Can a microbe be coaxed to communicate? Interfacing one with a silicon chip may just achieve this breakthrough! Chips could be developed to collect signals from specially altered bacteria. The concept may be surprisingly rugged. Microbes thrive in a wide range of environments, so it's possible that this idea may have vast applications in space, and implications for time travelling.

Scientists working for NASA claim to have the ability to teleport into parallel but dissimilar life forms, which they claim is the key to travelling through time.

See this married couple, yet one appears to be a lion!