Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl?

Here, Van Credenza pays tribute to the trend setting Massachusetts band, The Barbarians.

With their 'beach pirate' look, Cape Cod's Barbarian's were one of the earliest transvestite groups to release a record, and possibly the first to have a minor hit. "Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl?" hit 55 in the US national charts almost 50 years ago, propelling cross dressing into the spotlight.

The band themselves were aficionados of Hermann Freiherr von Teschenberg, an Austrian who worked on the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee. von Teschenberg, a transvestite who fought against the stigma of cross dressing, had been influenced by Italian femminiellos, and he eventually settled in Italy, having been resident in Germany and England for a time.

Of course, in many cultures, transvestism is practiced for religious, traditional and ceremonial reasons. However, the Barbarians just liked ladies' clothes.

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Jungle Rock

When William M. Mizell wrote a persistent jungle blues item which he thought would make good swingin' dance fare it was all about the jungle denizens doing the rock with a good sound and rhythm.

However, we suspect that the narrative in this tale is pure fiction. Accepting there may have been a jungle drummer, it’s certainly unlikely that a chimpanzee or any sort of monkey would be able to dance anything resembling the Suzie Q, which is a famous rock n roll dance step. A fox is expected to grab a rabbit at any opportunity, but again, the ‘bunny’ is more likely to be killed and eaten than given the prospect of a dance. A camel jitter buggin’? While achievable, yet again, this is stretching the bounds of plausibility.
Yet William M. Mizell, renaming himself ‘Hank’ then joined the church as a preacher man. A man of the cloth, but, it appears, a stranger to the truth.

Let's Spend The

Here, Van Credenza teams up with Kentucky Firewalker James Artist to undertake shamanistic rituals, spiritual events and Cherokee bodywork (3000-year-old Cherokee medicine). 

Medicine Man James involves us with rolling thunder, as clouds fall from the sky and the waves sail backwards.

At The Foot Of The Mountain, in The Middle Of The Forest, lies The Great Rock.
No money: Let's Spend The

The Glam Way You Are

Let's spend the evening with some make up,
And some glitter, platforms,silver flares,
Put on some paint, and try to fake up,
Eat a big pancake up, with a spoon.

Who can forget these lyrics? Everyone and anyone! Because these are the wrong lyrics.
But here is the 2012 Van Credenza Christmas gift. It was stolen, just for you, from famous songwriters Pete Atkin and Clive James. It should really be properly recorded!

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Glambience

Gentle yet forceful. Van Credenza produces calm with glam. It's a new genre, and it's controversial: do we want a gay witch hunt? Possibly. 

No bogus expenses were submitted following the composition of this tune.

Love Hate Fear Joy

A remake of the obscure cult psychedelic number by The Lysergic, Van Credenza features the electric smee on this version. 

The band dressed in vintage shirts and loons from Mr Fish and Granny Takes a Trip to record the song.

Groovy Glam.

Ride a White Swan

Bolan's original Ride a White Swan featured no drums, simply a tambourine and clapping. Van Credenza remains roughly true to that original, with the beat provided by a cake tin stuffed with fabric. 

A complex time signature was attempted for the closing section of this cover, while Charlotte Dundas takes on the now familiar role as vocalist. 

Unusually for Van Credenza as an electronic combo, real guitars were utilised throughout.

When performing this number live, wearing top hats and feather boas on stage, Van Credenza is simply known as 'V Credenza'.

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undead

Van Credenza has been travelling.
'Un-dead' was Bram Stoker's original choice for his novel Dracula. 
Undead are deceased, but appear to be alive.


See Страшный Суд

A New Colour

Thalia

Van Credenza has been working on a new colour. Skilled watercolourists claimed it couldn’t be done, those expressing themselves through a variety of media also expressed doubt re Van Credenza’s endeavour.


You can now see and hear for yourself: watch without prejudice, listen out, for a new colour is here for all to muse.

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iF iF iF (Guns & Drugs)

Van Credenza has been examining the Scottish football scene. The foremost authority on the game, Chick Young of the BBC, perhaps explains the crisis which presently exists. Van Credenza is puzzled by some of the terminology.