The Glam Way You Are

Let's spend the evening with some make up,
And some glitter, platforms,silver flares,
Put on some paint, and try to fake up,
Eat a big pancake up, with a spoon.

Who can forget these lyrics? Everyone and anyone! Because these are the wrong lyrics.
But here is the 2012 Van Credenza Christmas gift. It was stolen, just for you, from famous songwriters Pete Atkin and Clive James. It should really be properly recorded!

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Glambience

Gentle yet forceful. Van Credenza produces calm with glam. It's a new genre, and it's controversial: do we want a gay witch hunt? Possibly. 

No bogus expenses were submitted following the composition of this tune.

Love Hate Fear Joy

A remake of the obscure cult psychedelic number by The Lysergic, Van Credenza features the electric smee on this version. 

The band dressed in vintage shirts and loons from Mr Fish and Granny Takes a Trip to record the song.

Groovy Glam.

Ride a White Swan

Bolan's original Ride a White Swan featured no drums, simply a tambourine and clapping. Van Credenza remains roughly true to that original, with the beat provided by a cake tin stuffed with fabric. 

A complex time signature was attempted for the closing section of this cover, while Charlotte Dundas takes on the now familiar role as vocalist. 

Unusually for Van Credenza as an electronic combo, real guitars were utilised throughout.

When performing this number live, wearing top hats and feather boas on stage, Van Credenza is simply known as 'V Credenza'.

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undead

Van Credenza has been travelling.
'Un-dead' was Bram Stoker's original choice for his novel Dracula. 
Undead are deceased, but appear to be alive.


See Страшный Суд

A New Colour

Thalia

Van Credenza has been working on a new colour. Skilled watercolourists claimed it couldn’t be done, those expressing themselves through a variety of media also expressed doubt re Van Credenza’s endeavour.


You can now see and hear for yourself: watch without prejudice, listen out, for a new colour is here for all to muse.

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iF iF iF (Guns & Drugs)

Van Credenza has been examining the Scottish football scene. The foremost authority on the game, Chick Young of the BBC, perhaps explains the crisis which presently exists. Van Credenza is puzzled by some of the terminology.

The Jean Genie BlockBusters

Bob Holness, who at one point worked with Elvis Presley (most notably on live performances), is best known as presenter of quiz show Blockbusters, which originated in the USA, and was named after The Sweet's 1973 hit 'Block Buster!' 


Weeks earlier, a very similar riff to the one used by The Sweet was developed by David Bowie for The Jean Genie. But Bowie himself may have been listening to The Yarbirds covering Bo Diddley's 'I'm A Man'. Written in 1955, Diddley (aka Ellas McDaniel) was born within mere weeks of Bob Holness, and the pair had met while the latter was collaborating with Pressley. 


Incredibly, the originator of quiz show Blockbusters, Mark Goodman, also worked with Holness and Pressley (and may have had a chance encounter with Diddley) during the 1960's, and was very keen to involve the King of Rock'n'Roll in one of his shows. Elvis never consented, but Holness was eventually captured in 1983.


By this time, Holness, with his sound reputation in many aspects of show business, had potentially contributed to both songs combined here in the latest Van Credenza number: The Jean Genie Blockbuster.


Assisting the band vocally here are German songsters Fortuna (Lucius, Copia and Annonia).

Jackdaw & Crow

Noise.
Noise of mechanical structures. Man made machines. Noise.
Natural noise. Noise of the creatures around us. We curse it.
Noise!
Yet, we also treasure the din, for some among us cannot perceive sound.
Van Credenza brings together nature and apparatus, plus two deaf, totally anonymous guest musicians (JD & WMD) for 'Jackdaw & Crow'.
This item wasn't simply played; it was built by Van Credenza. We sent 'Jack' and 'Walter' to capture two live birds to use in the recording. Instructions were issued to our hearing-impaired collaborators (Mr Dow and Mr Marks-Davies) in order for them to construct makeshift percussive instruments. Finally, Tens pain relief machines were attached to both functioning ear restricted drummers to ensure they picked up and played the required beats, on time.
Whether this has been a successful project, only you can judge. Unless you too are unable to perceive noise.

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as the sun still burns away

Ten Years After are sometimes illustrated as a ‘hard rock’ band, but this number was relatively easy to play.

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That band got their name as they were formed a full decade after the ten day 1956 Hungarian Revolution. Two of the members of 10YA were massive Ferencváros fans.

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To the song: allegedly Alvin Lee wrote “As the Sun Still Burns Away” not about the star at the centre of our solar system, but about the newspaper of, at that time, several years standing, which had published lurid details of the band’s partying habits. They wanted no-one to know: Ssssh.

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“As the Sun Still Burns Away” is drawn from their 1970 album Cricklewood Green. Ferencváros play in green, hence the second part of the album name. The first, Cricklewood, is taken from the area in London from whence the band purportedly got their supplies.

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In tribute to 10YA, Van Credenza is releasing a vinyl copy of this song, one side playing at 45rpm, the other at 78.

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Pop Muzak MMXII

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Van Credenza took an extended break for the Christmas/New Year Celebrations (2011-2012). but they did make a trip to Montrose to record this tribute to Robin Scott (M), who a bloke down the pub told them had died.

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Unfortunately, Scott hadn't. So Biscuit changed the lyrics a bit, and Van Credenza rattled this version out.

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A selection from the tune:

"Newmills, Larbert, Partick, Gourock

Everybody talk about pop muzak

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Dance in the corner shop

Buy it on the net

Holness on Countdown

Celebrity Big Brother

I can't get Jumping Jack Flash, Get Back

Moonlighting Willis, Cybill Shepherd

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Newquay, London, Parkhurst, Thurrock

Everybody talk about, mm, pop muzak

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Do you read me?

Loud and clear"